Jesus climbs the stairs to the upstairs bar wherein he somehow knoweth that the guys have just got to be hanging out, as was their custom.
(This is after the girls have gone out and visited the tomb wherein he had been laid and - having first discussed, but only briefly, whether or not the exact words Jesus had used to raise Lazarus were essential or not, and decided decidedly most likely NOT - simply prayed with enough faith to find the strength to move the stone which blocked the entrance and to bring forth the detainee, need I add?)
At the door on the first floor to that room wherein were drinking his remaining Apostles, he hesitates, briefly, before deciding, "Hey, what the HELL!," and, instead of first knocking, then awaiting a polite, though frightened, response from those within - whom verily he could naturally assume to be super-terrified of some very violent, imminent Roman arrival - he simply ghosts in...
"What the...?! " chorus the lads, filled as they were said to be "with fear and with joy," like THAT could happen.
"Ok, wise guys, so, which part of We are ALL immortal Children of God, the Light of the World, the Eternal I-AM, the Before-You-Were-in-Your-Mothers'-Wombs (and I do not mean MF's) and Know you ye not that in YOUR book it says Know ye not that ye are gods did ye not get, please, cos' I am sure as HELL not gonna go through all THAT again?!"
They look at him askance, of course, bewildered rather than enlightened, as ever.
And, behold, he quoted to them from the off-joke of the future (for now he could see the future laid our before him), “A suicide-bombing instructor goeth into a bar and declareth: ‘Now, watching very closely, for i only show you this ONCE!’”
"Ok, so, you guys got anything to eat, please - before I TRY and explain it all again?"
Whereupon, lo, they gave him bread and fish that was broiled that he might eat, and began to mutter among themselves, questioning if some or all that he might eat of would fall from the hole that was in his side, and, seeing this, he bade them go preach to ALL nations, and not alone their own, and never, ever again to permit their senses of humor, such as they were, to abandon them, and pledgeth he, too, himself, likewise, that, as bearer of THEEE Best News that N/EVER Was or COULD BE - that we are all equal as immortal and eternal Children of the Divine, his own sense of humor, too, he undertook never again to allow anyone, Jew of Gentile, to deprive him of.
Jesus climbs the stairs to the upstairs bar wherein he somehow knoweth that the guys have just got to be hanging out, as was their custom.
(This is after the girls have gone out and visited the tomb wherein he had been laid and - having first discussed, but only briefly, whether or not the exact words Jesus had used to raise Lazarus were essential or not, and decided decidedly most likely NOT - simply prayed with enough faith to find the strength to move the stone which blocked the entrance and to bring forth the detainee, need I add?)
At the door on the first floor to that room wherein were drinking his remaining Apostles, he hesitates, briefly, before deciding, "Hey, what the HELL!," and, instead of first knocking, then awaiting a polite, though frightened, response from those within - whom verily he could naturally assume to be super-terrified of some very violent, imminent Roman arrival - he simply ghosts in...
"What the...?! " chorus the lads, filled as they were said to be "with fear and with joy," like THAT could happen.
"Ok, wise guys, so, which part of We are ALL immortal Children of God, the Light of the World, the Eternal I-AM, the Before-You-Were-in-Your-Mothers'-Wombs (and I do not mean MF's) and Know you ye not that in YOUR book it says Know ye not that ye are gods did ye not get, please, cos' I am sure as HELL not gonna go through all THAT again?!"
They look at him askance, of course, bewildered rather than enlightened, as ever.
And, behold, he quoted to them from the off-joke of the future (for now he could see the future laid our before him), “A suicide-bombing instructor goeth into a bar and declareth: ‘Now, watching very closely, for i only show you this ONCE!’”
"Ok, so, you guys got anything to eat, please - before I TRY and explain it all again?"
Whereupon, lo, they gave him bread and fish that was broiled that he might eat, and began to mutter among themselves, questioning if some or all that he might eat of would fall from the hole that was in his side, and, seeing this, he bade them go preach to ALL nations, and not alone their own, and never, ever again to permit their senses of humor, such as they were, to abandon them, and pledgeth he, too, himself, likewise, that, as bearer of THEEE Best News that N/EVER Was or COULD BE - that we are all equal as immortal and eternal Children of the Divine, his own sense of humor, too, he undertook never again to allow anyone, Jew of Gentile, to deprive him of.
And so it was and is.
Keep 'em coming, PLEASE!
Tom.
Hahahaha!!! I love this! Thank you so much for giving me another Jesus, Mary and Joseph story. I will credit you!
Do you want to know mine? It's much more of a "saved" kind of thing... and true!